A hapless teddy bear decides it's time to get out of bed and head out to make his fortune. Some bad advice from a "friend" at a bar lands him on a pirate ship as the world's first cabin bear.
Soon, the cannonballs are flying, along with the bird turds and the captain's empty rum bottles (not to mention his steady stream of insults). Holding fast to his rented mop, it's all a stuffed bruin can do to keep his head, keep the deck swabbed, and stay alive.
After each hard-fought battle, collect your share of the booty and then head over to the Soggy Bottom tavern for a shaky drink and a chance to catch up on the latest chapter in Cabin Bear's unfolding story.
And always remember that true love is worth more than gold.
* A fair number of levels, but way less than a million.
* Extended dialogue scenes between levels, filled with game tips you probably won't notice until you've played a bunch of times.
* You get a rusty hammer and a bucket if you live long enough.