Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer Jokes


750+ Lawyer jokes, if you are or know a lawyer then shame on you! only joking, but probably best not to download these joke if you offend easily.


*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy. "

"Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
To practice."

"A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral.""

"A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.
As he passed raging fire pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
'That's unfair!' he cried. 'I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.'
'Shut up,' barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.
'Who are you to question that woman's punishment?\'"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline."

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

*****Disclaimer*****
Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app. None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app. We accept no blame for any offense caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.

Recent changes:
3.3.5 New Jokes Added

3.3.4 New Jokes Added

3.3.3 Small Bug Fix
]
3.3.2 New Jokes Added

3.3.1 Menu updated, info button changed to menu.

3.3.0 New jokes added, menu graphics added, report jokes for offensive content, bad spelling or because its a repeat.

3.2.7 Save favorites bug fixed.

3.2.6 New Jokes Added

3.2.5 Small bug fix

3.2.4 New Jokes Added

3.2.3 Loads up faster, improved layout for larger screens, other small updates.

3.2.2 New Jokes Added

3.2.1 Welcome screen bug fix

...
Add to list
Free
76
3.8
User ratings
55
Installs
10,000+
Concerns
1
File size
2696 kb
Screenshots
Screenshot of Lawyer Jokes Screenshot of Lawyer Jokes Screenshot of Lawyer Jokes Screenshot of Lawyer Jokes Screenshot of Lawyer Jokes

About Lawyer Jokes
750+ Lawyer jokes, if you are or know a lawyer then shame on you! only joking, but probably best not to download these joke if you offend easily.


*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy. "

"Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
To practice."

"A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral.""

"A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.
As he passed raging fire pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
'That's unfair!' he cried. 'I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.'
'Shut up,' barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.
'Who are you to question that woman's punishment?\'"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline."

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

*****Disclaimer*****
Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app. None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app. We accept no blame for any offense caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.

Recent changes:
3.3.5 New Jokes Added

3.3.4 New Jokes Added

3.3.3 Small Bug Fix
]
3.3.2 New Jokes Added

3.3.1 Menu updated, info button changed to menu.

3.3.0 New jokes added, menu graphics added, report jokes for offensive content, bad spelling or because its a repeat.

3.2.7 Save favorites bug fixed.

3.2.6 New Jokes Added

3.2.5 Small bug fix

3.2.4 New Jokes Added

3.2.3 Loads up faster, improved layout for larger screens, other small updates.

3.2.2 New Jokes Added

3.2.1 Welcome screen bug fix

...
User reviews of Lawyer Jokes
Write the first review for this app!
Android Market Comments
A Google User
May 18, 2014
The joke is on you! Just started reading and some jokes are good but uninstalling due to the gaudy interface and the so called Preferences don't work at all. So no escape from the clownish screen design. Why not switch to some simple, decent & uncluttered UI?
A Google User
Jul 25, 2013
Lame Boring.
A Google User
Jun 10, 2013
Horribly stupid Worse than little kid jokes and many are even x-rated. Needs to be reported to Google.
A Google User
Feb 9, 2013
Lawyer jokes Terrible interface, 1-2 good jokes otherwise.
A Google User
Feb 9, 2013
Lawyer jokes Terrible interface, 1-2 good jokes otherwise.