"Does my bum look big in this?"
"I don't mind if you go to the football."
"I have a headache."
“No, really, it’s fine.”
Tired of trying to work out what your wife really means? Sick of trying to decipher the complex workings of the female brain? We have the answer!
After years of detailed research, a dedicated team of linguistic specialists, etymologists and psychologists are able to finally fathom the depths of the female language. Based on ancient scrolls uncovered in the depth of the Amazonian rain forest, incorporating the artificial intelligence theory of Alan Turing and asking some blokes down the pub*, we can bring to you the application that every husband (or potential husband) has been waiting for.
Wife Translator allows you to successfully negotiate the volatile minefield that is a conversation with your wife.
Simply input what your wife says into the application and allow it to quickly translate the bewildering combination of hints and coded messages into understandable, everyday language.
note - This app will also work with girlfriends.
For anyone who is concerned that this application may appear sexist, do not worry, Husband Translator should be available soon…
*This may not be entirely true - apart from the pub part.