Android apps by Funny Jokes TK

Yo Momma Jokes 1000+

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 23:19:07 +0000

Over 1200 classic and new 'Yo Momma' Jokes. Also to give Yo Momma' a break I thought I have included some of the same kind of jokes about other people in yo life.

Never again run out of an opportunity to insult your enemy's(friend's?) mothers. Guaranteed laughs every time with these very funny jokes.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Add your own stories
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"Yo Momma so fat she saw a school bus go by and yelled " TWINKIE!""

"Yo Momma So Ugly, I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo."

"Yo Sister's so stupid she could trip over a cordless telephone."

"Yo Dog's so stupid he bury's his own tail"

"Yo Momma so fat, she sells shade in the summer."

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

The funnies Yo Momma Jokes ever, carefully collected for your fun. Fat momma, ugly mama jokes, pore momma, Yo momma so dumb, only the best yo momma jokes.

Bookmark your favorite jokes,
Send joke sms (text message)
Send funny joke email.

Yo mama jokes are a special type of one-liner jokes that mostly begin with ’Yo Mama’s so...’
It is derived from the insulting of one’s mother (or a suitable alternate relative) in an American accent.
The initial, Yo Mama (Your mother) can be combined with most types of insults which are suggestive of stupid or foolish behavior : Your momma’s so poor she can’t even pay attention!

Read the best jokes joke, it jokes funny quotes, funny joke, funnyjokes, humor jokes yo mama is, yo mamma sms jokes to mamma jokes, how to be funny, pranks, best humorous jokes, dirty jokes, funny quotes and sayings.

Tags: humorous quotes, funny dirty quotes, best yo momma jokes, yo mama jokes, funny quotes and sayings.

Dirty Jokes 1600+

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 23:19:07 +0000

A huge collection of over 1500 dirty jokes. Please don't download if you find swearing, sex/dirty/crude/rude jokes offensive. In fact if anything ever has offended you, best stay clear of this one!!!

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background

The best Dirty Jokes app for Android!
Have a laugh at thousands of dirty jokes, and add your own jokes for adults only. - Thousands of Free Dirty Jokes and Adult Jokes! Tons of fun! - Send jokes via SMS, text message, Twitter / Facebook - Add your own funny comment on jokes - Make your own profile - These jokes are for adults only!
So if you're adult, like dirty jokes and want to join the fun, install this free app now!

Tags: dirty rude jokes.

1400+ Funny Statuses

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 06:03:56 +0000

Funny status updates as posted on various social networking sites. You can use these updates as your own and have your friends LMFAO. You can also add to the App, seen something you thought was funny or had a rare moment when it was you that was funny, then send them to me via that App and I'll include them (giving you the credit of cause).

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Post to Facebook
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button).
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Other layout changes

Examples of what's inside

"Randomly remembering gud times and smiling like an idiot"

"Your hair is a mess" " So is your face."

"I like Turtles"

"I swear to make no promises I cannot keep."

"Sluts are like summer... no class!"

"Lighters that work in the wind"

"I hate my little brother!!"

"Weekend forecast..........mostly drunk with a chance of horny"

950 + Police jokes

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 20:20:46 +0000

Love them, hate them or are one! These jokes are for you.
Over 950 of the best jokes about the long arm of the law.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk."

"A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered,
"It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD."
The drunk promptly fainted.
The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that.""

"What do you call a crow that joins the police?
A rookie."

"NEWSFLASH - An Old English Sheep dog has been found hanging from a tree in the Southern states of the USA.
The police say the Dulux Klan did it. "

"Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes - $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."
The following day, the same police officer noticed the same two hos driving around with a large sign on their car.
He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign:
"Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter -- $50.""

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

Tags: police jokes, 2300sex jokes.

1000+ Blonde Jokes

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 23:19:07 +0000

Over 1000 of the funniest jokes about blondes.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"I pulled into a crowded car park at the local shopping centre and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay! Stay!"
This blonde bird gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in Park?" "

"Why did the blonde, throw breadcrumbs in the toilet bowl?
To feed the toilet duck. "

"A blonde with two burnt ears goes to the doctor, who asks what has happened.
"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron."
"What about the other one?"
"They called back.""

CAUTION - users of this app have been known to laugh hysterically while looking at their phones! For hilarious hand-picked jokes that will have you rolling on the floor, look no further! This handy app allows you to enjoy the funniest jokes at your convenience, save your favorite jokes, and easily send them to your friends.

"A blonde just texted me saying, "What does idk stand for?"
I texted back saying, "I don't know" and she replied, "OMG, no-one does!""

"F*****g dating sites
I asked for a fit blonde, who has a dirty mouth and likes it in the ring.
I got paired with Hulk Hogan"

KW:Joke,Blonde,Jokes,Funny,Fun,Blond, Dumb Blonde.

900+ Funny Sayings

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 15:27:00 +0000

Funny Sayings: Over 900 funny twists on common sayings.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

“Bigger is better. Unless it’s a tumour.”

“My friend told me, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." So I lobbed a dictionary at his head - that showed him.”

“Oh yes, I've tried my hand at sex.”

“On the other hand, you have different fingers.”

“Had sex with a transvestite the other day. She took it like a man.”

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

1100+Litter Johnny Jokes

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 23:16:23 +0000

Over 1000 of the infamous 'Little Johnny' jokes. ***Strongest possible warning, These jokes are rude, dirty, contain swearing and will offend most people***

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"The Teacher said to little Johnny, "use harassment in a sentence."
Little Johnny said, " Her mouth said no, but her ass meant yes.""

"During class little Johnny kept swearing, everything was f**k this and f**k that. Teacher "Johnny, that is not a word a ten year old should be using"
Johnny "there are worse words than that miss, like murder and death"
Teacher "No Johnny, the word you keep saying is much, much worse than murder and death"
Johnny "I disagree miss, I bet you would rather be f****d than killed""

"One night, Little Johnny went to sleep and dreamt his Uncle Bill died. He woke up and that evening, his dad got a call saying that Uncle Bill died. The next night, Little Johnny went to sleep and dreamt his Aunt Joy died. He woke up, and then that evening, his dad got a call saying that Aunt Joy died. He told his daddy, "Two days ago, I had a dream Uncle Bill died, and then yesterday, I had a dream Aunt Joy died. His dad said, "that's just a coincidence." The next morning he tells his dad, "I had a dream that my dad died." His dad was terrified. He had the worst day at work and took every precaution. He didn't eat any of the food in case of food poisoning, and he drove slowly in case of a car wreck. When he finally got home, Little Johnny's mom asks him how his day at work was. "Much more horrible than your day I'm sure," his dad replied. "I don't know," said his mom, "The milkman dropped dead on the front porch today!"

"One day there was this little boy named Johnny he had to go to the bathroom so he raised his hand and asked the teacher "can I go to the bathroom." she said no.

Then 5 mins later he raised his hand and said "damit I have to piss can I go to the bathroom.” She said "no not with that mouth.” She said now go to the corner and say your a.b.c.'s frontwords and backwards

He went to the corner and said "a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z"

Then he said "z,y,x,w,v,u,t,s,r,q,o,n,m,l,k,j,i,h,g,f,e,d,c,b,a"

Then she said "Where is the p."

Little Johnny said "Running down my leg.""

"Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsy ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"

Daddy is relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.

Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.

Johnny cries out "HANG ON TIGHT DADDY! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!""

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

Tags: children sex jokes.

750+ Adult Animal Jokes

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 20:20:46 +0000

Over 750 jokes about animals, these jokes are meant for ADULTS ONLY they contain swearing and jokes of a rude/crude nature... and maybe one or two that will make you laugh.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"Two goldfish are in a tank.
One turns to the other and says, "How the fuck do you drive this?""

"My hamster died today... silly bastard fell asleep at the wheel!"

"Whats a shitzu?
A zoo with no animals."

"A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray. "Is this good for wasps?" he asked the assistant.
"No, it kills them," was the reply."

"Woman goes into a butcher's...
"I\'d like an oxtail please".
"Certainly", replies the butcher, "Once there was an ox...""

1300+ Women Bashing Jokes

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 23:19:07 +0000

Over 1300 jokes about woman. Most of these jokes(well all) are completely teastless, however, they are funny (well some). Women please don't download you will only get offended, unless of course you have a sense of humour(if you do you'll be the first, hahaha)

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Add your own stories
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"Climbing to the top of the career ladder does wonders for a woman's self-esteem.
But it ruins her p***y."

"A woman walked into a library and asked for a book on euphemisms.
So the librarian took her up the rear aisle and let her have it. "

"I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way.
Through the driver's door."

"Why does every man need a woman?
Because the dishes would get to piled up without one."

"How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it."

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

1850+ One Line Jokes

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 15:31:35 +0000

A huge collection of over 1850 short jokes and observations on life. New jokes are added weekly to this colorful little app. The user interface is simple and easy to navigate. Please fee free to email me your comments or suggestions.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"Facebook - Never letting you forget any of the s***s you've s*****d."

"I just p****d so hard a little bit of laugh came out."

"There is a fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'"

"Broken arms: Painful, but humerus "

"3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population."