Boring Speedometer

Boring Speedometer? Boring like a Tesla.

This isn't another boring speedometer with a boring needle. It's a buddy in your pocket who comments on how you drive.


— WHAT IT DOES —

Shows your speed. Big neon numbers. The end.

Well... almost the end. Below the numbers you get quips that change every two-three seconds depending on how fast you're going. At 50 it tells you you're doing it right. At 130 it gives you a nod. At 160 it starts getting nervous. At 200 it just goes silent — what's even left to say?


— QUIPS ARE THE HEART OF THE APP —

Hundreds of one-liners for every speed range. Friendly, a bit cheeky, sometimes absurd. No lectures, no "drive safely young man". More like "even a snail just overtook you" when you've been sitting at that red light too long.

Quips never repeat back-to-back. Speed up or slow down and you get a fresh one. Every speed has its own vibe — one tone at 50, another at 100, another at 180, where the vibe starts to crack a little.


— A DESIGN THAT GETS OUT OF THE WAY —

Dark futuristic UI. Neon. Silence. Nothing blinks for no reason, nothing jumps in your face. The speedometer smoothly shifts color as you go, from cool tones to hot. At 130 you start seeing yellow. At 170, red. At 200... well, you won't really notice anyway.


— FOUR WAYS TO MOVE —

Not just driving. Boring Speedometer handles:

- Car — 0–200 km/h
- Bike — 0–60 km/h
- Walking — 0–20 km/h
- Train — 0–200 km/h

Each mode has its own quips. On a bike nobody tells you "Fast & Furious is calling". On a train nobody mentions your insurance premium.


— WHAT YOU WON'T FIND HERE —

- No ads in the middle of your drive
- No premium subscription to unlock a color
- No "share to Facebook" buttons
- No 17-screen tutorial on first launch
- No "Hey! Haven't seen you in a while!" notifications

You open it. You drive. The app talks back. The end.


— TWELVE LANGUAGES —

English, Czech, and ten more. The quips aren't Google-translated — every language has its own pool, written with a feel for local humor.


— GPS & PRIVACY —

Speed is calculated from GPS right on your phone. We don't store anything, we don't send anything to a server, we don't sell your data to anyone. Where you drive stays with you.


— SETTINGS —

- km/h or mph
- Mode selector: car, bike, walking, train
- Language picker
- Stats: top speed, distance covered — stored locally


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Boring Speedometer. Probably the most boring name for probably the least boring speedometer on the App Store.

Download. Drive. Get talked at.