HeadsUpDaddy

He doesn't know what week it is. Now he will.

HeadsUpDaddy tracks the cycles of the women in your life — your partner, your daughter — and tells you, in plain language, what is actually going on and what is coming. A comedy product that happens to be accurate: the jokes are why you install it, the cycle maths is why you keep it.

WHAT IT DOES
• A DEFCON readout for the day: where she is, and how far out the hard stretch is
• A daily briefing — the phase, the day inside it, the biology behind it, and what to actually do
• Notifications before the difficult days, not after
• Home Screen and Lock Screen widgets
• Log a period from Siri, Shortcuts, or Control Centre

THE RULE
The joke is always aimed at you. Never at her. The mascot is a hapless dad who is not winning, and that is the entire point. Daughter profiles are locked to the plainest voice, with no jokes at all.

SHOW HER
There is a screen built to be handed over. It shows everything the app stores, everything it predicts, and a delete button that genuinely deletes. Consent is not an afterthought here — the app asks for it before it will start.

PRIVATE BY CONSTRUCTION
No account. No server. No analytics. No crash reporter. Her cycle data never leaves your phone.

FREE AND FULL
Free tracks one person in a plain, informational voice — complete and useful on its own. The full version is a single $2.99 payment, no subscription: track as many people as you need, and unlock both voiced tiers (Tactical, and the opt-in Unfiltered).

NOT MEDICAL ADVICE
HeadsUpDaddy is not a contraceptive, not a fertility treatment, and not medical advice. Predictions are estimates from logged dates.