Network Hamster

Your internet is acting up. Is it your Wi-Fi? Your router? Your ISP? Network Hamster tells you — in plain English.

A helmeted hamster pedals a bicycle in real time, matched to your actual latency. Fast connection, fast pedaling. Congested network, and he grinds to a crawl. It's the most honest status indicator you'll ever install.

Behind the mascot is a genuinely serious diagnostic toolkit.

ONE-TAP DIAGNOSIS
Tap Diagnose and get eight checks in under a minute: interface, captive portal, your router versus the internet, NAT topology, DNS, web response time, and latency under load. Then a verdict in words you can act on — "Local network is healthy, high latency is upstream. Your router is not the problem."

BUFFERBLOAT GRADING
The reason your video calls stutter when someone downloads something. Network Hamster measures how much your latency balloons under load and grades it A+ through F, then tells you exactly how to fix it.

FIND OUT WHERE YOU STAND
• Live ping, jitter, packet loss, and p95 latency across six rotating servers
• Speed test with download, upload, and bufferbloat, plus saved history
• Router vs. internet isolation — know instantly whose fault it is
• CGNAT, double NAT, and symmetric NAT detection
• DNS benchmarking against Cloudflare, Google, and Quad9

ADVANCED TOOLS
• Monitor Mode — ping every second for hours, graph the whole session, get alerted the moment your connection drops, and export CSV
• MTR traceroute with per-hop whois, reverse DNS, and a map of where your packets actually travel
• Ping Lab — test with different packet sizes to expose MTU and queueing problems
• Buffer Probe — detects undersized modem buffers that quietly cost you the bandwidth you pay for
• Wireless Health — tells you whether jitter is born on your Wi-Fi or upstream
• Wi-Fi Guard — catches repeated forced disconnects
• Inbound Watch — spots unusual traffic arriving at your device
• Cellular coverage mapping and DNS record lookup

PROVE IT TO YOUR ISP
Every diagnosis exports as a shareable report: latency per server, packet loss, traceroute, bufferbloat grade, and a timestamped event log. Stop arguing from memory. Paste the evidence.

BUILT HONESTLY
Some things iOS simply does not allow — Wi-Fi signal strength, raw packet capture, cell tower identity. Network Hamster never fakes them. Where a limit exists, the app says so and does the most useful thing that is actually possible.

No account. No tracking. No data collection. Just a hamster who is very concerned about your ping.